Baby Daddy's Drama......

All this drama because I do not want to be with you... Are you for real...Men talk about having "Baby Momma Drama" I have "Baby Daddy Drama"...

I despise the fact that he can actually thinks he can dictate to me what he is going to do and what he is not going to do... check this....We lived together for 4 years...there was nothing but lying, cheating, stealing (yes I said it stealing from me, his own baby boy, and my mother)...this man was no good and I saw the signs...but like every immature woman,I thought I could change him---Ladies, you can't they are who they are!!! When I finally decided I had had enough I told him you got to roll---Mind you this was in August of 2006....I only asked that he pay one thing, which is also court ordered and that was to pay daycare (180.00 bi-weekly)...do you know until this day I have not received a dime. Right now, the baby has been spending the weeks with him (since he STILL is not working) and I go get him every other weekend to let him know I am going to continue to do my part..for the last past 3 weekends in a row I have went to Philly (of course he has no car--never did--always drove mine--) to pick up my son and spend time with him....

Now this is my weekend to relax w/o any children because I do have two more. Since he knows this and can not stand the fact that someone else might be there, all of a sudden he is now working every weekend , he has this new job and he only works on the weekends...so this every other weekend thing has to stop--as he says and I am bringing the baby back---cool do you have daycare money, I say--I am working on it---well you can not bring him back until you can afford to put him back in daycare.---(Yall he don't have it!!!!!)

Why did I say that, this man tripped on me, called me all kinds of names and I am not this and I am not that, his family will do this and his family will do that, bury myself in the whole that I have dug---all this craziness early in the morning.... Now I am thinking I know this NUCCA just did not call me out me name early this morning...After all that I have done for you and put up with, it all came back....

I finally, had enough....as Mary J Blige would say "I held my tongue for too long, I can't do it no more" all of 4 years released on that ass!!!!!!! I ripped him a new ass from the beginning of our relationship until this very morning...

For once, in my life I stood up! I spoke my mind and let go, and I know right at this very moment his mouth is hitting the freaking floor--stunned--can't believe what I just said---Good!!!! I have had Enough, I dealt with too much for too long---IT IS OVER!!!!!

Sitting back and learning who I am made me realize regardless of what he said to me it was how he treated me that let me know that it wasn't really love---and once I realized that I let go.

I tried to remain friendly and peaceful but he kept pushing and pushing and pushing until I finally pushed back----

You would think that it would be the mother tripping'---naw not this time----it was the daddy tripping---Baby Daddy's Drama....

This is how it all went down.....

Well, after my last entry there were more......in total we had approximately 4 or 5 people lose their jobs on Friday....I was so sick about it I had to leave, my stomach was in knots and I was nervous....My review went wonderful but I am not apart of the "Work Crew" so I think that my GM has it out for me....don't know if the "Party" is over but I am now prepared.....I have decided if it is my time to go then so be it...I will return to school and continue to work on my nursing degree....it would actually be a blessing in disguise!

Damn, Damn, Damn..............

....I have just discovered that my job is doing some serious layoffs--seniority does not even matter! This lady a 3 year employee has just been laid off--No warning just let go in the middle of the day....that is jacked up. She is 60 years old! Where is she going to find another job and she is not old enough to collect social security.....How they did it was foul .....Her severance pay is to pay her for the rest of the day.....she was let go at 1:30; her work day ends at 4:30---WOW!!!!!! They were wonderful to her....Am I next??????

Falling for Hip-Hop

I know I have tripped......I am in a situationn right now that I can not believe I allowed myself to be in....what was I thinking......Obviously I wasn't.....Could we have created something so grand but because the timing is wrong we have to let it go.....I can't seem to let go, I know it is the right thing to do but HE is my Hip-Hop and I think that I am starting to enjoy it...never knew I had a thing for Hip-Hop....

The 3 worded lines that are shouted out daily puts a smile on my face and a thought in my head...is he talking about me....the best love of his life.....Hip Hop is really sounding good to me...never knew I liked Hip-Hop....nah Hip-Hop is not for me...I like R&B---smooth, mellow, soothing, and calming....But for some Reason I have taking a liking to Hip-Hop......I think...no...the lines hit me again..."6'1" dark and lovely they say i'm black and beautiful it's true no phoney i'm browner than Larry so won't you bee my tenderoni."...Hip-Hop is really trying to get my attention.....then I realized I am falling for Hip-Hop..............